Sexting is exchanging sexually explicit messages, photos, or videos through a phone, tablet, or computer. Done right, it's a fun way to flirt, keep a long-distance spark alive, or add texture to an existing relationship. Done wrong, it's the fastest way to make things awkward, kill momentum, or leave a trail you'll later wish didn't exist. These ten tips will keep you firmly in the "done right" camp.
1. Set ground rules first
Before any sexting starts, agree on the basics with the person you're sexting with. What's on the table, what isn't, whether anything gets saved, whether either of you is comfortable with photos or videos at all. A two-minute conversation up front saves a hundred awkward ones later.
2. Be yourself
Trying to perform as someone you're not reads through almost immediately. The people who are good at this aren't quoting lines from somewhere, they're just saying what they actually want in a way that fits how they normally talk. Use proper spelling and grammar too, it sounds trivial, but sloppy typing pulls your partner out of the mood faster than almost anything else.
3. Respect your partner's privacy
Whatever they share with you, share back to them and nobody else. Never forward, never screenshot to show a friend, never save "just in case." Treat their pictures the way you'd want them to treat yours, which is: like something they're trusting you with.
4. Keep messages short and sweet
Long walls of text break the rhythm. A couple of vivid, specific sentences land much harder than a three-paragraph monologue. Think of sexting as a back-and-forth, not an essay.
5. Use trustworthy platforms
If you're meeting people online to sext, stick to reputable sites with decent moderation and obvious anti-scam signals. Brand new profiles with stock photos and aggressive opening lines are almost always bots or scams. Spend the extra minute checking who you're actually talking to before you send anything explicit.
6. Don't overshare
There's a difference between sharing a mood and dumping every detail of your day at the same time. The hot part is the tension, not the information. Leave some things to the imagination, it's more effective and it keeps the conversation from stalling.
7. Protect your phone and your photos
Treat any explicit photos on your device as genuinely sensitive. Delete them regularly, or frame them so your face and any identifying marks are never in the same shot as anything explicit. If you sext often, consider using an app with strong encryption like Telegram's secret chats, which don't sync to the cloud and don't leave copies sitting in photo libraries.
8. Don't flood with photos and videos
One good photo at the right moment is worth ten sent in a row. Pacing matters. Sending a pile of images in quick succession can feel overwhelming and desperate rather than sexy.
9. Quality over quantity on images
If you're going to send a picture, make it a good one. Decent lighting, a flattering angle, something that took you a moment of thought rather than a shot fired off in bad bathroom lighting. Low-effort photos land like low-effort effort.
10. Keep things lighthearted
Sexting isn't a performance. It's supposed to be fun. Jokes land, teasing lands, a bit of play lands. Taking yourself too seriously is where it gets awkward. Have fun with it, don't treat it like work, and stop if you're not enjoying it.
One last rule: read the room
Context matters more than any tip on this list. Is your partner actually in a place where this is welcome right now? Are they responding in kind, or just being polite? Sexting is at its best when both people are actively into it. If you're ever not sure, ask. A quick "is this a good time" is way sexier than an unwanted nude at 2pm on a workday.
